Comprehensive Guide to Advocating for Inclusion in Key Conversations

Introduction

This guide is super close to my heart and I poured more than 40+ hours into making it concise and providing you with scripts to position you as a leader.

What I’m about to share is the guide I wish I had when I started—a set of scripts and strategies for handling exclusion, reclaiming your voice, and navigating microaggressions in the workplace.

I had none of this when I started my career.

No scripts. No mentor to guide me. No one to tell me how to handle subtle exclusion, microaggressions, or being overlooked in meetings.

My college courses didn’t teach me this. The real-world skills—the kind that helps you navigate workplace dynamics, advocate for yourself, and be taken seriously—were things I had to figure out on my own.

So I became a student of my environment.

I attended leadership trainings and observed my leaders closely. I paid attention to their words, their confidence, and how they navigated high-stakes conversations.

As someone for whom English is a second language, there was an additional layer—I had to learn cultural nuances, unspoken rules, and ways of speaking that helped people gain influence.

A lot of this was trial and error. A lot of it was learning the hard way.

But you don’t have to.

Let’s dive in!

As a product team member, being excluded from key conversations isn't just a matter of personal preference—it directly impacts your ability to execute effectively and deliver value.

When decisions are made without your input, you lose:

• The opportunity to represent user needs and market realities
• Critical context for implementation decisions
• Influence over resource allocation and prioritization
• Relationship-building moments with key stakeholders
• The ability to align cross-functional efforts early

1) Understanding Why You're Being Excluded

Before addressing the issue, it's helpful to understand why exclusion happens aka exclusion dynamics:

• Historical precedent: "We've always done it this way"
• Oversight: People don't realize your input is valuable
• Time constraints: Fast-moving decisions bypass normal inclusion processes
• Political dynamics: Intentional exclusion due to conflicting agendas

Further, diagnose the likely cause of your exclusion:

3) Tactical Approaches to Gaining Inclusion

1. Direct Requests for Inclusion

A. Formal Email Request

Subject: Request to Join Strategic Discussions on [Project Name]

Hi [Stakeholder/Meeting Owner],

I noticed there are ongoing discussions happening about [specific topic/project] that have significant implications for [area you're responsible for]. Given my team's work on [related initiatives], I believe I could provide valuable perspective that would help us avoid [potential issue] and strengthen our approach to [specific goal].

Could you please include me in the relevant [meeting series/email threads/Slack channel] moving forward? I'm happy to prepare specific input on [relevant topic] in advance if that would be helpful.

Thank you,
[Your Name]

B. In-Person/Informal Request

"I heard you're leading discussions on [project]. Since my team will be responsible for [specific aspect], I'd love to join those conversations to make sure we're aligned from the beginning. When is your next meeting? I'm happy to come prepared with [specific contribution]."

C. Request Through Meeting Owner

Subject: Question about [Project] Meeting Participants

Hi [Meeting Organizer],

I noticed the recurring meeting for [project/initiative] includes [stakeholders A, B, and C], but I wanted to check if there was a consideration to include product representation as well?

As the product leader for [related area], I can contribute [specific value] and help ensure we're addressing [key considerations]. Would it make sense to add me to these discussions?

Thanks,
[Your Name]

2. Leveraging Your Manager as an Advocate

A. Structured 1:1 Discussion

"I'd like to discuss something I've observed that's impacting my effectiveness. I've noticed I'm not being included in key conversations about [specific topic/project], such as [provide 2-3 concrete examples].

This creates several challenges:
1. I don't have the context I need to make informed decisions about [area of responsibility]
2. We sometimes end up with misaligned priorities because I'm not able to represent [important perspective]
3. I'm missing opportunities to build relationships with key stakeholders like [names]

Could we discuss how to address this? I think having your support in getting me included in [specific forums] would be really helpful."

B. Written Follow-up After Discussion

Subject: Action Plan for Improving Cross-functional Involvement

Hi [Manager],

Thanks for our conversation about improving my involvement in strategic discussions. As we discussed, here's my plan:

Immediate actions:
• Reach out directly to [stakeholder] about joining [specific meeting]
• Prepare and share a one-pager on how my team's work impacts [project]
• Schedule coffee chats with [key decision-makers]

Where I could use your support:
• Mentioning to [executive] that you'd like me included in [forum]
• Introducing me to [stakeholder] at the leadership offsite
• Backing me up when I raise concerns about decisions made without proper product input

I'll follow up on our progress in next week's 1:1.

Thanks for your support,
[Your Name]

C. Escalation When Needed

"I've tried addressing this directly with [stakeholder] by [actions taken], but I'm still being excluded from key discussions about [topic]. Since this is now affecting [specific business outcome], I think we may need a more direct approach. Would you be willing to speak with [their manager] about ensuring proper product representation in these forums?"

3. Demonstrating Value Through Proactive Contribution

A. Pre-Meeting Input

Subject: Input for Tomorrow's Decision on [Topic]

Hi [Meeting Owner],

I understand you're meeting tomorrow to discuss [specific decision]. While I won't be in attendance, I wanted to share some data and considerations that might be valuable:

• [Market insight or user data point 1]
• [Potential implementation challenge]
• [Strategic consideration tied to company goals]

These insights come from our recent work on [source]. Happy to discuss further if helpful.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

B. Post-Meeting Value-Add

Subject: Additional Perspective on Today's [Topic] Discussion

Hi [Meeting Participants],

I heard from [colleague] about today's discussion on [topic]. Based on what I understand was decided, I wanted to offer some additional context that might be helpful:

[Specific insight or consideration with supporting data]

This might affect how we approach [aspect of implementation]. I'd be happy to discuss this further or join future conversations on this topic if that would be helpful.

Thanks,
[Your Name]

C. Creating Valuable Resources

Subject: Decision Framework for [Recurring Issue]

Hi [Leadership Team],

I noticed we frequently discuss [type of decision] but sometimes struggle to align quickly. To help streamline these conversations, I've created a decision framework that outlines:

• Key considerations
• Required data points
• Success metrics
• Common pitfalls

You can find it here: [link]

I hope this is helpful for future discussions. I'd welcome any feedback on how to make this more useful.

Best,
[Your Name]

4. Addressing Systemic Exclusion Through Process Improvement

A. RACI Matrix Proposal

Subject: Proposal: Decision RACI for [Project/Product Area]

Hi [Team],

I've noticed some confusion about who should be involved in different types of decisions related to [area]. To help clarify roles and ensure we have the right people in the right conversations, I've drafted a RACI matrix:

[Link to document]

This outlines who should be:
• Responsible (doing the work)
• Accountable (ultimately answerable for the decision)
• Consulted (provides input before decisions)
• Informed (notified after decisions)

Could we discuss this in our next team meeting? I believe this would help us make better decisions faster while ensuring all relevant perspectives are considered.

Thanks,
[Your Name]

B. Decision Protocol Suggestion

Subject: Streamlining Our Decision-Making Process

Hi [Leadership Team],

I've observed that decisions about [specific area] sometimes occur without all key stakeholders present, which has led to [specific issues].

To address this, I'd like to propose a simple protocol:

1. For decisions that impact [criteria], the meeting owner includes representatives from [list of functions]
2. If a stakeholder can't attend, they provide input in advance via [channel]
3. All decisions are documented in [location] within 24 hours
4. Stakeholders have 48 hours to raise concerns before implementation begins

Would it make sense to test this approach for the next month and see if it improves our outcomes?

Thanks,
[Your Name]

C. Introducing a Product Review Gate

Subject: Proposal: Product Review Gate for [Process]

Hi [Leadership],

I've noticed that decisions about [specific area] sometimes move forward without product team input, which has occasionally resulted in [specific issues like rework or misalignment].

To address this while respecting everyone's time constraints, I'd like to propose a lightweight product review gate:

• Required for: [specific types of decisions]
• Format: 30-minute review or asynchronous document review
• Timing: Before final commitment, with 48-hour SLA from product team
• Outcome: Go/No-go/Revise recommendation with clear rationale

This would help us catch potential issues early while still moving quickly.

I've attached a simple template for how this might work in practice.

Thoughts?
[Your Name]

Building Long-Term Influence Strategies

While tactical approaches address immediate inclusion needs, building long-term influence requires strategic effort:

1. Demonstrate Consistent Value

Maintain a log of concrete examples where your input significantly improved outcomes. Share these success stories in appropriate forums:

"When we included product perspective in the [project] discussions, we were able to avoid [problem] and actually accelerated our timeline by [timeframe]."

2. Build Your Network Proactively

Schedule regular 1:1s with key stakeholders before you need their support:

"I'd love to set up a monthly coffee chat to better understand your team's priorities and see where my team can add value. Would you be open to a 30-minute discussion next week?"

3. Map the Decision Ecosystem

Create a personal map of how decisions get made in your organization:

• Which forums are performative vs. where real decisions happen
• Who influences whom
• What communication channels matter most
• Whose support you need to gain access

4. Develop Reputation as a "Value-Add" Participant

When included in meetings:

• Come prepared with insights
• Keep contributions concise and relevant
• Follow up with helpful resources
• Respect others' time and perspectives

Handling Common Challenging Scenarios

Scenario 1: You Find Out a Decision Was Made Without You

"I noticed a decision was made about [topic] that significantly impacts my team's work. I understand things sometimes move quickly, but for future reference, my team would really benefit from being involved in these discussions because [specific reason]. Could we discuss how to ensure that happens going forward?"

Scenario 2: You're Told "We Didn't Want Too Many People in the Room"

"I appreciate the need to keep meetings focused. Perhaps we could find a balance where I join for the specific portion relevant to [your area], or I could provide input beforehand? My concern is that without [specific perspective], we risk [potential issue]."

Scenario 3: Political Resistance to Your Inclusion

"I've noticed some hesitation to include product perspectives in these discussions. I'm curious if there have been past experiences that have created this dynamic? I'd like to understand any concerns so I can address them directly."

Scenario 4: You're Included But Not Heard

"I've noticed in our [meeting name] that I often raise points about [specific concern], but we move on without addressing them. These issues eventually resurface as problems later. Could we discuss how to ensure these considerations are properly evaluated when they're raised?"

4) Measuring Success: How to Know If Your Strategy Is Working

Track these indicators to gauge your progress:

1. Invitation Rate: Are you being proactively included in relevant meetings?
2. Consultation Frequency: How often do stakeholders seek your input before making decisions?
3. Implementation Alignment: Are decisions being made that align with product strategy?
4. Rework Reduction: Has there been a decrease in changes required after decisions are made?
5. Relationship Quality: Has the quality of your working relationships with key stakeholders improved?

5) Remember: Inclusion Is Earned Through Value

The most effective strategy for securing your seat at the table is consistently demonstrating the value you bring when included. Document cases where your input prevented problems or created opportunities, and reference these examples when advocating for inclusion.

Your goal isn't just to be in every meeting—it's to be in the right meetings where your expertise genuinely adds value to the organization and its customers.

Increasing Visibility in Meetings

A. Prepare and Speak Up

1. Come Prepared

• Review the agenda (if provided).
• Prep data points or examples you can contribute to discussions.

2. Speak Early

• Aim to share an insight or ask a question at the beginning of a meeting. Doing so sets a tone that you are an active participant.

Example Script – Contributing in Meetings

“I’d like to add a quick point regarding [topic]. From what I’ve seen, [data or example]. This could impact [project or goal], so it might be worth exploring how we can leverage this.”

Reclaim Interrupted Contributions

If you notice you’re being talked over or your ideas are passed over, reclaim your contribution.

Example Script – Being Interrupted

“I’d like to finish my point first. As I was saying…”

Tips for Using These Scripts

• Adapt to Your Style: If you’re more comfortable with a straightforward tone than with humor, feel free to remove the joke or sarcasm.
• Follow Up as Needed: If behavior doesn’t change, escalate appropriately—talk to your manager, HR, or a mentor for additional support.
• Document Incidents: Keep track of dates and examples of microaggressions to provide a factual account if you need to discuss a pattern of behavior with leadership.

Remember: Addressing microaggressions is about clarifying boundaries and fostering respect.

By calmly pointing out the impact of someone’s actions and inviting change, you demonstrate professionalism and assertiveness—both of which can help shift the team culture toward inclusivity.

That's a wrap!

If you have a request on a specific topic or a specific question that you would like me to answer, please email me theproductcareer@gmail.com

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